Valentine's Day does not necessarily have to revolve around traditional gifts such as heart-shaped boxes of chocolates or roses, according to relationship experts who focus on deeper connections in relationships. Therapists encourage couples to prioritize small, meaningful acts to express love rather than participate in grand gestures, emphasizing that true romance stems from recognizing what matters to one’s partner.
Romance varies from person to person; for some, it may involve simple gestures like holding hands or preparing a warm bath, while others may appreciate witty texts or acts of service, like bringing coffee in bed. Traci Lee, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Dallas, notes that establishing habits of romance early in a relationship plays a crucial role in nurturing the partnership as it develops.
As relationships progress, the meaning of romance evolves. Lee explains that the nature of romantic gestures changes as couples become more familiar with each other’s individual needs and navigate life together, especially when children and caregiving responsibilities come into play. Gabrielle Gambrell, a New York resident married for seven years with two children, highlights the importance of continuous dating to keep the spark alive, emphasizing that her husband and she maintain a mandatory date night to renew their energy and appreciation for each other.
Valentine's Day also carries the weight of societal expectations, often fueled by romantic fantasies portrayed in movies and literature. This pressure can be alleviated through thorough planning and open communication between partners. Lee notes that assuming a partner can intuitively understand what makes a celebration special is a common mistake. She encourages couples to discuss their desires openly to avoid disappointment.
Clarence Smith IV, a middle school teacher and video content creator from Phoenix, advocates for traditional acts of chivalry as a form of respect and care in relationships. He believes that simple gestures can often be overlooked in today's fast-paced world but remain impactful when demonstrated genuinely. Smith asserts the importance of showing love, citing that even small actions can resonate deeply.
Experts suggest that rather than focusing solely on special occasions like Valentine's Day, couples should also establish rituals for everyday moments. Lee points out an analogy commonly used in counseling: while a grand gesture such as a bouquet of roses may be appreciated, small, consistent acts of love can express genuine commitment over time. For instance, offering a single rose each day for twelve days can signify dedication much more than a single lavish gift. Lee prompts her clients to consider small yet meaningful ways to support their partners.
For Gambrell, gift-giving is her preferred love language. She finds deep meaning in her husband’s thoughtful gestures, like purchasing a lottery ticket or a nice pen while out shopping, as these gifts reflect his consideration for her. This continuous acknowledgment strengthens their emotional bond.
Smith encourages individuals to embrace their own way of expressing affection, regardless of their dating experience or the longevity of their relationship. He believes that loving authentically is always rewarding, reinforcing that every effort made towards love is valuable.
